Dating advice women cosmopolitan
"Men want their wives to enjoy raw sex, not just endure it or take it personally," says Joe Kort, Ph.
D, a psychotherapist and sexologist in Royal Oak, Michigan.
Is there a compromise that will work for both of us?
" It can be as simple as asking to cuddle for five minutes before a shower, or even showering together.
Next time you're feeling hot and heavy, pull one out.
Either jump right into fulfilling that fantasy or, if you need a little more time to adjust, ask what it is about that fantasy that your partner likes, Dr. "Sometimes, its themes can be addressed in different scenarios that feel comfortable for both of you," he adds.
"If he's been jumping in the shower right after sex for the last 10 years, he's going to be really taken off guard if, the next time he goes into the shower, you all of a sudden say it upsets you," she explains.
That's why sex experts chimed in with more accurate insight about what guys really want you to know when the two of you climb into bed. It's believed that men are so consumed by libido that they have no self-consciousness surrounding sex. "[There are] plenty of men who feel very self-conscious about their weight, or parts of their body, and really are affected by this in the bedroom," says Laurie Mintz, Ph. Many are impacted by performance anxiety too, asking themselves questions like, "Will I be able to get an erection? Mintz suggests starting outside the bedroom, when you can have what she calls a "kitchen table sex talk" — AKA a lower-stakes time to discuss things that are bothering you in the bedroom without having to be "in the moment" of, well, having sex.Example: "I really love having sex with you, and after we have sex I feel really close and connected.I know you really want to shower, but I really want to cuddle."You might find something is really fun, and then you can transfer that to partner sex." Otherwise, saying anything that's praising, instructive, and even a little dirty tends to go over well with men.Tell him exactly how you want to be touched (and where, and using what) and you'll his pleasure meter — and yours —through the roof.