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However, your sentiment that your Britishness is the root too your problem is very true.There is a reason why I am considered a heathen when I'm an English speaking country (as long as people are sober).We don't set out to be in a relationship just because of the relationship itself; we go for a person because we want to be with that person.Hmm, I have never reflected on this being a general phenomena, rather than just being me.
Someone feels like they invested, emotionally, in the other person when perhaps all that was was simple hedonism.While these situations you describe can be a thing. We were both ver communicative in what we wanted so we never had any of those issues.There's nothing wrong with going after a person you like. However, I have about three single female friends that are going through this.I am responsible for letting the other person know if I have deeper feelings and if these feelings aren't mutual I can move on quickly.This doesn't mean that things don't hurt, but I can accept that the way I feel isn't part of a courting system in which any of us is entitled to the other person just because we were attracted to each other.
The problem is when someone from a culture where sex is repressed behind shame, honour and purity has to adapt to this.