Choosing an online dating screen name dating an alcoholic man in recovery
In many other ways he is also fantastic: he owns several properties, has several degrees in engineering, has managed to find a job where he has ample time for extracurricular activities, maintains a close network of friends, maintains a humble self-perspective, and seems thrilled to be with me: he helps me with things that are difficult (both family strife and car repairs!
), enjoys meeting my friends and family; he’s introduced me to his friends and some of his family (with whom he has a very complicated relationship).
Now what makes things even harder to navigate is this: you’re really stuck on this guy. Why bail on a promising relationship just because there’s a hint of trouble? And you can’t let fear make your decisions in life. As you’ve identified, there’s a chance he won’t be able to overcome his past, but it seems to me like he has all the best intentions in attempting to do so.
And you’re writing to me to make sense of what seems like contradictory advice, “wait and see,” or “believe the negatives and run.”Honestly, you don’t have to decide today. Which is why I see this situation through a prism of cautious optimism. As I see it, the script of your relationship has yet to be written. One of my favorite quotes is: “The only risk is the one not taken.”I wonder if she would consider staying if she was 10 years younger than she is now.
I’ve noticed this can stir up some maybe-not-so-long-lost feelings of abandonment for me, and wonder if this means that we are doomed?!
I can see he genuinely cares about me and is eager to make progress.
He has acknowledged that he has an ambivalent-anxious attachment style (with the tendency to retreat when he is feeling emotionally challenged, but still a deep need to connect), which he is making sense of in therapy and independently.Are imperfections by definition at least yellow flags?Afterall, I did make the point almost anything can be spinned into a red flag.If you are under the impression that only actors, theater artists, singers, dancers and stage performers are the ones who require catchy and cool screen names, then you're completely mistaken my friend.In addition to all the above-mentioned people, each and every single person who makes use of instant messaging applications, online chat rooms, online dating portals, matrimonial websites, etc. Almost all the above Internet-based applications make the process of creating a screen name mandatory, during user registration.